Tug of Attraction Read online

  “So this is about your biological clock?”

  “Not entirely. Some women with endo are sterile because of it. A woman I know had a severe case. They tried different medicine. Unfortunately nothing worked for her and she had to have a hysterectomy eventually.”

  “So why don’t you just get married and try with your husband?”

  “I won’t trick some poor sap into marrying me just to maybe get pregnant. Look, I want a child to love and raise on my own. I don’t believe in marriage anyway. My mother has been married four times. I thought you’d be perfect since you seem to be a happy bachelor.”

  “I am. So why would I saddle myself with a child? I’m not the guy who wants a mini-him running around. And if I’m not that guy, why would I take on visitation, sports uniforms, music lessons, college expenses...”

  “You don’t need to do any of that. In fact, I don’t want you to.” She took a deep breath and spoke quickly so he couldn’t stop her. “I don’t want you involved in any way. I live in another town, so you wouldn’t even see the child unless you went out of your way, and I’d like you to sign something saying you won’t.”

  She dug around in her leather shoulder purse until she produced the document her lawyer assured her was an iron clad contract. “Here, read this.”

  He took it from her, scanned it, and then handed it back. “Why don’t you just go to a sperm bank? You won’t even know who the father is.”

  “Two reasons. First, I’d like to be able to tell the child that I knew his or her father, and that he was a good man. Second, in vitro fertilization is very expensive. If it’s difficult or impossible to conceive I could wrack up a ridiculous debt.”

  Ethan’s distress was plain to see. He placed his elbows on the table and his hands covered his face. She let him process the information in silence for a few moments. At last, he scrubbed his face and then stared at her, frowning. “I just don’t see this as an option, Bridge.”

  “You don’t have to decide right away. Think about it for a while. That’s all I ask.” She handed him the contract again. “Here. Keep this and look it over at your leisure.”

  “I’m not a lawyer. I could look at this jargon all day long and I wouldn’t be able to spot a loophole.”

  “That’s because there are no loopholes. I was assured it’s iron-clad. I don’t want the interference of another parent. I’ll provide for all the child’s needs. You won’t have any responsibilities. I promise.”

  “What about child care? How are you going to afford that if you can’t afford to go to a sperm bank?”

  “I have my mother. She lives right next door and would love to babysit.”

  “Doesn’t she have to work?”

  Brigit snorted. “She hasn’t worked since college. If marrying millionaires was an art-form, she’d be a master.”

  “And you’re sure she’d welcome this responsibility full-time? I mean, doesn’t she have to do fund-raisers or something?”

  “Fundraisers are usually night-time affairs. She took care of my sister’s son until they moved to Nashua—and she misses it. In an emergency I can take the child to work with me. Our director has two kids and they come with her occasionally.”

  “Don’t you work in an animal shelter?”

  “Yes. Can you imagine any kid not loving to spend a few hours there?”

  Ethan chuckled. “How do I know you won’t just put the kid in a cage?”

  She slapped his arm. “Ethan Cox! How dare you think that of me?”

  He chuckled. “I was kidding. I know you’d make a great mother, but you really should think of other options.”

  “What other options are there?”

  “How about adoption or hiring a surrogate?”

  “Did you not hear the part about pregnancy helping my endometriosis? Besides, I want a pregnancy story. I want to go through the months of anticipation and preparation. I want to relate to every female that’s had children when it comes up in conversation—and it comes up a lot with women. More importantly, I want to love and raise my own child from conception to college.”

  “You mean you want to keep him in line with the ‘I spent fifteen long hours in labor with you’ story.”

  She laughed. “That’s not bad as a last resort either.”

  “I’m really not interested in marriage and kids, Brigit.”

  “I know.” She smiled slyly. “We could never get married. I’d want to hyphenate names and my last name is Love.”

  Ethan took a second, then burst out laughing. “Love-Cox.”

  “See?” She said, grinning.

  He shook his head, still chuckling. “Well, there you go. We can’t possibly get married.”

  “Which is why you’re perfect,” she reiterated.

  He snorted. “I’m so far from perfect I can’t even see it from here.”

  “Hey, I’m not perfect either. You know where I spent the ten years right after high school don’t you? Follywood.”

  “Don’t you mean Hollyweird?”

  “LA is plenty weird, but I call it Follywood because so many young hopefuls spend their best years waiting tables and hoping for the big break that never comes.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t make it. You’re incredibly beautiful. Sorry, if I’m stating the obvious. Were you a terrible actress?”

  She laughed. “I took acting lessons. Plenty of them. I even landed a couple of coveted tampon commercials.”

  “Coveted?”

  She grinned. “You’d be surprised at the jobs you’ll take when you’re poor. Besides, you never know who might be seeing that commercial, maybe a casting director who wants a specific type. Unfortunately, they all said I looked too much like Elizabeth Taylor.”

  “How could that possibly be a bad thing?”

  “They said they already had a Liz Taylor and didn’t want another one. Just like you don’t see hundreds of Marilyn Monroes on TV. An icon is too hard to live up to. And by the way, the only acting I was terrible at was acting like I’d do anything for a movie part—because I wouldn’t.”

  “Have you thought of taking an acting job at the Seacoast Repertory Theater? I hear they’re paid professionals.”

  “I have, but I’m trying to get away from that world. I want a simple life, Ethan. Working with animals and raising a child.”

  “I admire your honesty. You’re upfront and I appreciate that. It must not have been easy.”

  She smiled. “I knew I could trust you. Thank you for hearing me out.”

  He shook his head. “I just don’t think I’m the right man for the job, Brigit.”

  Then a nasty possibility occurred to her and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “You don’t have any serious diseases do you?”

  “No! Not that I know of. Physically, I’m healthy.”

  “Whew. That’s all I care about. If you think you’re screwed up because of a few bad decisions in the past, welcome to the human race. I don’t need to know about any of that stuff. I think you’re a good man and a dear friend. I’ve always liked you, Ethan. I wouldn’t ask anyone else.”

  “So, you’re saying it’s up to me to say ‘yes,’ or your dream won’t happen at all.”

  “Correct.”

  “No pressure,” he mumbled.

  * * * *

  He sat in his kitchen with his hands wrapped around his coffee mug, and ruminated for about the fiftieth time.

  She had left him with, ‘Just think about it. Please.’ Being in the same coven, they’d see each other every full moon anyway. She’d said he could take his time deciding and let her know whenever he was ready.

  He had asked her if she could look at the father of her child once a month and see just another witch. She’d said, ‘I’ll see you as a friend, fellow witch and coven member, who did me a solid favor. If I ever have to name the father, I can use your witch name—Aubrey. But I’ll never ever give anyone your real name. I just ask you to let the idea percolate a bit.’

  That was little
comfort. Everyone in the coven knew his witch name, but he supposed it would be hard to track him down if the person looking wasn’t in the Coven.

  Ethan had spent days thinking about this crazy idea. He’d been called in to work a few times, but not as much as he would have liked. It seemed as if work was the only place he could escape the picture of Brigit’s beautiful body next to his—skin to skin.

  His took a sip of his lukewarm coffe. He seemed to forget to drink it when his mind took over and played out all possible scenarios.

  Brigit would make a wonderful mother. He’d always respected the way she held herself. She had self confidence that was completely devoid of any arrogance. And she was intelligent. Her spells seemed competent and effective, and yet she could laugh at herself too. Follywood. A lot of witches were way too serious.

  But would she be laughing if she couldn’t achieve her goal of motherhood? Would they remain friends if he performed and she didn’t get pregnant? He didn’t even know if his swimmers would get the job done. He’d always used a condom and often the women he dated used birth control too. He’d tried so hard not to get a woman pregnant, he didn’t even know if he could.

  After spinning his mental wheels for a few days, Ethan decided he needed to talk to a trusted friend. Someone who could see the situation from his angle and would tell him the truth. There were only two men he could think of who understood their Wiccan values. Dru and Keith. Dru was in Austin, Texas, most of the time, and he didn’t attend coven rituals anymore. He was honest and would try to help, but sometimes his cowboy wisdom was a little hard to interpret.

  Keith could be brash with his honesty, but he didn’t hold back. Ethan wasn’t sure if the cross-dressing act meant he was gay, or if he was just making a living by dressing as Cher and performing at his night club on weekends.

  Oh well...he could start with one and if that didn’t help him clarify his thoughts, he’d try the other. He had both of their phone numbers. He grabbed his phone out of the charger and stared at the contact list. Which witch to try first?

  Dru’s name came up first in alphabetical order. He was about to let that be the deciding factor, but changed his mind at the last minute and tapped in Keith’s number.

  “The Musical Review,” a voice answered.

  “Is Keith there?”

  “Sure, honey. Who should I tell him is calling?”

  “His friend, Ethan.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he wondered if the woman would assume he was a gay friend. But what did it matter? He was suddenly less interested in what women thought of him.

  “Keith here. Is this Aubrey?”

  Ethan had almost forgotten to use his witch name. He and Keith, aka Raven, didn’t hang out as a rule, so they were more familiar with each other by their witch names.

  “Yeah. It’s Aubrey. I used my real name with the woman who answered the phone.”

  “That was Liza Minnelli.”

  “Seriously?” Ethan asked, shocked.

  Keith cracked up. “No. My club’s version of Liza is actually named Raffia. He’s good though, right?”

  “Yeah. I thought he was a she.”

  “That’s what I like to hear. So, what’s up? Need some front row seats?”

  “No. I was hoping to, uh, talk about a personal matter. I need a male opinion.” Man was this a mistake!

  “Sure. Do you want to come over?”

  “Uh, no. In fact, I think maybe I should just figure it out for myself. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

  “Oh, no you don’t. You called me. There’s a reason you did that. Now, out with it.”

  “Can you keep this under wraps?”

  “Of course.”

  “Swear it?”

  “I swear on the sacred altar.”

  Ethan took a deep breath. Maybe there was a reason he called the night club owner before the cowboy. “Okay. I have this female friend who wants to have a baby without getting married. She gave me a contract that absolves me of any and all responsibility. She’s a good friend and I’d like to help her, but, I don’t know...”

  “Is it Brigit?”

  Ethan almost dropped the phone. “How did you know?”

  “I remember the spell she did on Midsummer night. She wanted a baby to love. I thought it was odd since I was pretty sure she wasn’t married.”

  Ethan blew out a deep breath. “Yeah. It’s Brigit. Now it’s even more important that you forget I ever told you.”

  “Fine. Consider it forgotten. But do you want my opinion or not?”

  “Yeah. I do.”

  “Get the contract verified, and then tap that fine ass! I would.”

  Ethan burst out laughing. “Seriously?”

  “Hell yeah. Brigit’s about the hottest woman I know. I only wish she’d asked me. All the perks? None of the punishment? Fuck, man. What are you waiting for?”

  I guess that answers the question about Raven’s sexual preference.

  “Okay. Well, thanks, man.”

  “Sure. I gotta go. We’re rehearsing a new number.”

  “Good luck. Er—break a leg.”

  “Thanks. Sounds like you’re the one who’s getting lucky.”

  As soon as he hung up, he knew he needed a second opinion. He called the cowboy. It rang a few times and he was about to hang up when Dru answered.

  “Howdy Ethan.”

  “Hi, Dru. How are you?”

  “As good as a man who was bucked off an unbroken horse several times yesterday can be. But as they say, there ain’t a horse that can’t be rode and there ain’t a cowboy who can’t be throwed. I’m takin’ a hot bath.”

  “Ah. Well, don’t let me keep you from that.”

  “I’m not in a hurry. That filly ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

  “But the water will probably get cold while you’re talking to me.”

  “Cold water in the Texas heat ain’t a bad thing, Ethan. Sounds like you need to talk. I can lay here and listen.”

  “If you have to hang up, I’ll understand.”

  “Stop stallin’ and start talkin’, buddy.”

  “Okay. You know the Witch’s Rede, right?”

  “An’ it harm none, do what ye will. That one?”

  “Yup. That’s the only one. The only hard and fast rule of our religion. It usually guides me, and yet it doesn’t seem to be helping me at the moment.”

  “Sounds like you have some kind of decision you’re chewin’ on.”

  “Exactly. Let me put this as a hypothetical question. You know what that is, don’t you?”

  “I may sound like a dumb cowboy, but I know more than you Yankees think I do.”

  Ethan snorted. “I’ll thank you not to talk about the Yankees with a Red Sox fan.”

  Dru chuckled. “You’re still stallin’. Now spill it. What’s your hypothetical question?”

  He sighed. “Fine. If you were single, and a beautiful woman, with a contract that excused you from all responsibilities, wanted you to get her pregnant, what would you say?”

  “Jesus!”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what I said too. Maybe I should have been more specific. Instead of what would you say, what would you do?”

  “Holy crap. Is it Brigit?”

  Shocked, Ethan pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second. “How did you know that?”

  “I remember the night at the hotel when the coven was doin’ love spells. You know...the one I ruined by sprayin’ the sacred altar with the fire extinguisher.”

  Ethan chuckled. “How could I forget?”

  “Yeah. I’m not likely to forget that either. I was goin’ over everyone’s spells in my head, hopin’ I hadn’t ruined anyone’s chances at findin’ love. Brigit’s spell stood out in my mind. She wished for a baby to love. Rebecca told me she was single, so it was a little surprisin’.”

  “Yeah. She doesn’t want to marry someone she doesn’t love just to realize her dream of motherhood.”

  “Kinda makes sen
se. Shasta and I grew up without a daddy, and we turned out fine. Better’n if we had parents who hated each other, I imagine.”

  “Shasta? Oh! You mean April?”

  “I keep forgettin’ she’s using her other name now. She’ll probably be at the ritual tomorrow night.”

  “She took your place in the coven?”

  “Yeah. As far as I know she’s still plannin’ to attend. She really likes y’all.”

  “Well, don’t tell her about this. Don’t even tell Rebecca. I doubt Brigit will say anything yet, and I want a man’s perspective.”

  “And I’m tryin’ to give you one, but I don’t rightly know what it is. I sure wouldn’t want to make a hasty decision and get it wrong.”

  “You and me, both. I’ve been thinking this over for a week, and I’m still confused. She said there’s no hurry, but I don’t think I can go over it and over it in my head for another month.”

  “You ain’t a Gemini, are ya?”

  “No. Why?”

  “We tend to weigh both sides of an argument and unless there’s a clear winner, our dual natures go to war in our heads. Makes Rebecca crazy sometimes.”

  Ethan laughed. “Funny you should mention the scales. I’m a Libra and we do the same thing. Decision making is especially hard when there are good reasons for both actions.”

  “Yeah. So other than sleepin’ with a beautiful woman, what’s to recommend it?”

  “She’s a friend, and she really, really wants this. She’d be a great mother too. I’d like to help her make her dream come true, but is there really such a thing as ‘no strings attached?’”

  “Dang. That’s a good question. What did the contract say?”

  “Basically that I’d have no rights or responsibilities. I’d plant the seed and go on my way.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “Hell, I don’t know.”

  “Seems like she knows exactly what she wants, but you have to figure out what it is that you want? If they jive, great. If not, say, no.”

  “Sure. It’s simple if it’s not happening to you.”

  “Big problems can usually be boiled down to something simpler. Turn up the fire and see what happens. Not too hot though, or your troubles can bubble up and spill over. But if you keep it on the fire too long, some things become harder.”